sickness
by alicelecter
Summary: Set nearly two years after 'Mischa'. Hannibal is sick with a serious cough. Is it just a flu or something much worse?
1. Chapter 1

A morning around the Milton house was normally pretty chaotic. Clarice had to fight one year old Julie to get into her high chair. Mischa would run around the house tripping over baby toys trying to get ready for school. In the craziness of the morning Hannibal wasn't even noticed and for that he was glad.

The last few weeks hadn't been easy on him and it was starting to show. Julie still woke up in the middle of the night screaming for attention. Mischa was on the verge of failing her math class and needed her father's help all the time. The top all of that he was sick.

A few weeks ago he had started having a bad cough. At first he had dismissed it as a cold but it hadn't gone away. In fact, he had started to get worse. The cough wasn't the only problem. He didn't have much of an apatite and he was starting to lose weight.

He was glad none of the family members had noticed it yet. He really didn't want them to worry. Co-workers of his had noticed and they were starting to worry. They were trying to get him to see a doctor so that he could find out what was wrong.

The reason hadn't gone to a doctor was because he was sure he knew what was wrong. Even though it had been years since he had quit smoking he was sure he had lung cancer. He knew that was even more reason to go to the doctor but he couldn't face it. The thought of dieing and leaving behind two great kids and a loving wife was too much for him.

Of course he knew it just a matter of time before Clarice found out what a hard time he was having and he knew she would make him go. He didn't know that the very morning he stood over the sink silently turning everything over in his head would be the morning his family would find out.

Hannibal had finally shoved all of his worries out of his head and was turning to head out the door when a wave of coughing hit him. He leaned off the sink bracing himself as he coughed. Michal and Clarice turned their attention to him. Even baby Julie stopped her screaming.

No one said anything as he whizzed and coughed. When he was finally done he could feel something in his mouth so he spit it into the sink. He groaned when he saw puddles of blood in the sink.

"Are you Daddy?" Mischa asked walking over to him. "There is blood in the sink."

"I'm fine," he said turning on the water.

"You are not fine," Clarice said. "You are going to see a doctor today to get checked out."

"I'm fine," Hannibal repeated picking up his car keys.

The look on Mischa's face made him pause his movements. She was looking at him with the most worried look he had ever seen on her face. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Alright," he said with a sigh. "I'll call and make an appointment. You guys always win."

He picked up the telephone and dialed the local hospital.

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A few hours later Hannibal sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Mischa had wanted to come along with but he had sent her to school. They would have to give him a call back about the results of his chest x-ray anyway. Plus he didn't want his daughter to worry about him.

Hannibal sighed rubbing his head forehead with a hand as he started to cough again. He reached for a tissue and covered his mouth up. He could feel a little bit more blood coming up and out of his mouth. He felt like a fool for putting off going to the doctor's.

"Will Milton," A nurse said walking into the waiting room.

Hannibal got to his feet and followed her along the hallway.

"You don't sound so well," she said looking at his chart. "Is that why you are here today?"

"Yes," he gasp. "It's got to point where I'm coughing up blood."

"That's not good," she pointed out. "You're a doctor yourself so you know what this could be. It says on your file that you quit smoking a few years ago."

"Yes," he said. "I'm terrified it's lung cancer. I have a family so I really need to know."

"Little ones?" the nurse asked.

"Two girls," Hannibal explained with a sigh. "An eighteen year old and a one year old."

"Wow that is a major age gap," she said.

"Yea it is," he said laughing slightly. "It does make life difficult sometimes."

The nurse pointed him to a door and they disappeared through it.

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An hour later Hannibal walked out of the hospital feeling much worse than he had before he went in. The doctor that had checked him out said that his breathing was horrible. Hannibal couldn't cough for him without having a bad spell.

The doctor couldn't say that it was lung cancer for sure but he said the chances were high. He said that his lungs were pretty bad off. He was supposed to stay home and take it easy until he got the phone call about his x-rays.

He took the long way home. He didn't want to face Clarice. He hadn't told her that is could possibly be cancer. He just couldn't scare he like that. She had assumed it was just a bad infection. He wasn't going to tell her anything until he was sure of what it was.

She was waiting for him when he arrived home.

"Where's Julie?" he asked hanging up his coat.

"Sleeping," Clarice said. "What did the doctor say?"

"Nothing," Hannibal explained. "He won't know anything until later. He is going to call me back about my x-rays."

"He must have said something," she said not buying his story at all.

"My lungs are in bad shape," he admitted. "But that is all I know."

"Oh Hannibal," she pulled him into a hug.

"Don't worry everything is going to be alright," he said patting her back. "I promise."

He closed his eyes tight and hoped he hadn't just lied to her.


	2. Chapter 2

For the first time months Hannibal found himself glad that Julie, Mischa, and Clarice took up all his time. If he stopped for a second he found himself thinking about his problem. Of course he was forced to think about it every time he had a coughing fit.

Mischa could tell her father was nervous but every time she tried to speak to him about it he would brush her off. She knew he wasn't big on talking about his feelings but she had started to like talking about her feelings.

Clarice felt the same way Mischa did but knew better than to waste her time trying to force him to talk. She knew he would talk when he was ready. She was too busy worrying at him herself and taking care of Julie.

The day after his check up with the doctor Hannibal didn't go to work. He didn't think he could manage with his cough. Mischa had insisted on staying home. She wanted to be there when her father got the news. Hannibal and Clarice agreed with her.

Julie had just gone down for her noon nap when the phone rang. Clarice grabbed the phone quickly.

"Hello," she said into the phone.

"Hello this is Dr. Marko," a man said. "Is Will Milton there?"

"Yes he is," Clarice said.

She waved to Hannibal who was sitting on the couch. He jumped up and walked over to her.

"Will here," he said into the phone.

"I've got some bad news and some good news for you," the doctor said. "You do have cancer in your lungs."

"What is the good news?" Hannibal asked in a weak voice.

"It is in a big lump," Dr. Marko explained. "If if you go in for surgery right away we might be able to get it all in one shot."

"Oh that is good news," he said. "How soon would you want me to go in?"

"How soon can you discuss it with your family?" the doc asked. "If I could get you in tomorrow I would be happy but I understand that you will need to talk to your family about it first."

"Yes I would have to do that," Hannibal said. "Can I talk to them and then give you a call back tomorrow."

"That would be great," he said. "I'll let you go then. Bye."

Hannibal said a quick goodbye and then hung up the phone. He had a quick wheezing spell. Clarice looked on with worried eyes until he stopped.

"What did he say?" Clarice asked.

"It's Cancer," her husband said with a sigh. "The good news is that he thinks he can get it all out with one surgery."

"That is good news," she said smiling slightly. "Are you going to do it?"

"Only if my family is ok with it," he explained. "I don't want to do something you and Mischa are dead set against."

"I'm ok with it," Clarice said. "I'm nervous and scared but I know it is your best shot right now."

"I guess the only person like is Mischa," he said in a nervous voice. "I don't know how she is going to take it. She's been so emotional lately."

"Give it to her straight," she said, "You know how much she hates it when someone beats around the bush. If she wants to talk about her feelings after you tell listen to her. That will make her feel so much better."

"Alright honey," he said.

He walked past her to Mischa's room. He knocked on the door as quietly as he could. After a couple of knocks the door opened.

"What is it?" she asked looking at him with a worried expression.

"The doctor called," he said. "And he told me it's cancer."

He didn't get a chance to say anymore. Mischa ran over to her bed and flung herself onto it face first. Hannibal walked fully into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Does this mean your gonna die?" Mischa asked lifting her head up slightly.

"No," he father said sitting down on the edge of the bed. "The doctor said that there is a good chance he can get it all in one surgery."

"Surgery?" she asked sitting up. "You're going to get surgery?"

"I haven't decided yet," he said. "I won't do it if my family has issues with it. I need to know you'll be ok with it."

"Will you die if you don't get the operation?" Mischa asked.

"There are other ways to go about it," Hannibal explained. "But they all have their risk. When it comes to medicine there are risk with everything."

Misha didn't have anything to say to that. She turned her attention to her hands.

"Is there anything I can do that would make you more comfortable with the surgery?" he asked patting his daughter's shoulders.

"Tell me the truth," she whispered.

"The truth?" he asked in confused voice. "The truth about what?"

"You and Mom," she said. "I already know but I would like to hear it from you."

"Already know what?" Hannibal asked. "I'm really mixed up."

"That you're Hannibal Lecter," Mischa said looking up him in the eye.


	3. Chapter 3

Well my updates may be not be so often now. My husband and I are having problems and are looking at a divorce.

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Hannibal sat and stared at his daughter. He couldn't believe what had just came out of her mouth. Clarice and him had always been so careful. The last thing he had ever wanted was for her to find out who he was.

"I've known since I was thirteen," she said

"How did you find out?" he asked still in disbelief.

"I heard mom call you Hannibal," Mischa explained. "At first I thought I was just misunderstanding something but I kept hearing her call you that. I figured there must a good reason for you lie to me about your name. Of course I knew she was lying about her name too. I'd heard you call her Clarice tons of times."

"I guess we should have been more careful," Hannibal said with a sigh. "So I guess then it was just a matter of going to the library and typing our names into yahoo."

"Yes," she said. "I wasn't really expecting to find anything so I was shocked when I pulled up what I did."

"Why didn't you come to me?" he asked. "We could have talked about it."

"I dealt with it in my own way," Mischa explained. "At first I decided I wanted to be just like you. That's why I got into horrible movies and cannibalism."

"This sure does explain a lot," he said shaking his head. "I just don't what I say. I guess you understand why we didn't tell you."

"You didn't know how I'd handle it," she said. "I know that. That is one reason I didn't come to you about it."

"I'm glad it is out in the opening now though," Hannibal said patting her back. "I never wanted there to be any secret between us. Just promise me you won't tell your mother about this."

""Don't worry," she said laughing slightly. "I know she'd freak out if she found out I knew."

"Are you ok with who I am?" her father asked. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"You changed," Mischa said. "You didn't kill anyone else. You married mom and had two great kids. You've always been the best father to me. I don't have any reason to hold it against you."

Hannibal smiled pulling his daughter into a hug.

"I don't want you to die," she said snuggling up against her father.

"This operation is my best shot," he said rubbing her back.

"I know," she admitted.

"So are you going to be ok with me getting it?" he asked.

"Of course," Mischa said smiling. "I just want you to be alright."

"I'll be fine," Hannibal said. "Lots of people get this done every day."

There was a long moment of silence between them. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was a good moment and Hannibal wished that it could have gone on forever.

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Hannibal lay in his bed staring up at the celling. He was thinking about everything. He was thinking about the operation, about his family, and about himself. He couldn't believe Mischa had been so understanding. He wondered if he her opinion would be different if she knew he had killed a year ago.

A wild coughing spell got Clarice's attention. She groaned rolled onto her side.

"Are you still awake?" she asked glancing at the alarm clock. "It's two in the morning."

"I can't sleep," he admitted.

"Thinking about the operation?" she asked.

"I'm thinking about a lot of things," Hannibal said sitting up. "I'm thinking about you, Mischa, and of course Julie."

"Mischa is a strong girl," Clarice said sitting up as well. "You don't need to worry. Everything is going to be alright."

"There is always that chance something will go wrong," he said more to himself than to his wife. "So I really should tell you."

"Tell me what?" she asked in a concerned voice.

"Don't tell Mischa I told you this," he said turning his full attention to his wife. "She knows who we are ."

"What?" Clarice asked growing upset quickly. "How did she find out?"

"She over heard us talking," Hannibal explained. "It's all right though. She excepted it years ago. She doesn't have a problem with it."

Clarice didn't say anything. She laid down and shook her head. She couldn't believe what she had just heard.

"The reason I'm telling you is because I need you to promise me something," Hannibal said lying down next to her.

The movement caused him to start coughing. Clarice gave him a concerned look and patted his back. When he finally got his breath again he looked at her.

"If something happens to me I want to you to get the family consulting," he said. "And I want you to talk to Mischa about who we really are."

"I will," Clarice said rubbing his arm. "I promise."

"Thank you Clarice," he said kissing her. "I know this family can't be as normal as most families but I want to try."

"We're happy honey," she said cuddling against him. "We're a great family. You're..."

Clarice didn't finish her attention. Hannibal looked down to find her fast asleep. He smiled and pulled her close to him.

"Goodnight baby," he said and kissed her on the head.


	4. Chapter 4

Two days later Hannibal and Clarice sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Mischa had volunteered to watch Julie so that Clarice could go to the hospital with her husband.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she said holding his hand.

"I'm sure," he said. "This is really my best shot. I want to see Julie grow up. I want to see Mischa get out high school."

"You will," she said in a comforting voice. "Everything is going to be alright. Don't worry about it."

"I hope so," Hannibal said looking away from his wife.

"Will Milton," a nurse said walking into the room.

"See you in a few hours," he said kissing her wife goodbye.

Clarice waved goodbye to her husband. She kept her eyes on him until he was out of eye shot.

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Clarice only left the waiting room to go to the bathroom and to get some food out of the vending machine. She wanted to be there in case something went wrong. About two hours into her waiting her cellphone rang.

She quickly pulled it out of her purse and opened it.

"May Milton here," she said into the phone.

"Hi Mommy," Mischa's voice came. "Is there any word on Dad yet?"

"No yet," Clarice said with a sigh. "I assume everything is fine. How are things there?"

"Julie is fine," she said. "She just got done eating lunch and is watching tv right now."

"That's good," Clarice said smiling. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Mischa said. "I'm nervous and I hope everything is going to be ok."

"I'm sure it will be," she explained. "You're father is a strong man. You know that."

"I know," she said in a whisper.

Clarice didn't know what to say to her daughter. She could tell she was more upset and nervous than she was letting on.

"May Milton," a doctor had entered the waiting room.

"I have to go honey," Clarice said. "There is a doctor here."

Mischa said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone. Clarice put away her phone and walked over to the doctor.

"I'm Dr. Marko," he said extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you," she said shaking hands with him. "Is my husband alright?"

"He is resting right now," the doctor explained. "His surgery went great. It was clumped together hard. That is why he was in so much pain. It made it easy to take it all out."

"So he is going to be just fine?" Clarice asked smiling.

"It looks like it," Dr. Marko said smiling as well. "He needs to take it easy for a while. I want to get another chest x-ray in a month just to make sure we got it all but right now it looks good."

"Can I see him?" she asked.

"Of course," he said. "If you'll just follow me."

Clarice nodded and followed the doctor down the hall.

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A few doors down Hannibal lay in bed staring at the celling. The doctor had been in a few minutes ago and told him he was going to be fine. He couldn't believe it. The surgery had gone so well. He had been so afraid something was going to go wrong.

There was a knock on the door and then a few second later it opened to allow the doctor and his wife in.

"Honey," she said running over next to him. "How are you feeling?"

"A little groggy," Hannibal said. "But I'm ok."

"When can he go home?" Clarice asked turning to the doctor.

"Whenever he feels ready," Dr. Marko said looking at his chart. "If he feels comfortable with going home I'm not going to force him to stay here."

"I want to go home," he said. "I need to my kids. Mischa is going to be so happy when she finds out everything went well."

"Alright then," the doc said setting some papers down on the table. "There are you release papers. Take it easy and don't start smoking again.

"You don't have to worry about that," Hannibal said. "I will never touch another cigarette as long as I live."

He waved goodbye to them and then walked out of the room.

"Are you sure you want to go home?" Clarice asked.

"Yes," he said sitting up. "I never did like staying over night at hospitals. Something about it always gave me the creeps."

Clarice laughed helping him up from the bed.

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There will be one more chapter to it and then I'll start the next story :D


	5. Chapter 5

A month slowly ticked by day by day. Hannibal had returned to week after one short week. He felt better than he had felt in his whole life. Mischa had been so happy that her father had been alright. He life took a turn for the better. She focused more on her school work. She was seriously thinking about going to medical school.

Hannibal even took a week off towards the end of the month to take his family on a little road trip. They had never been one before. Clarice and Hannibal never thought they could stand being copped up in a car that long. But after the scare they were so happy to have each other that they jumped right in the car when they got a chance.

A month after the operation Hannibal went in for his checkup and the chest x-ray had come back great. Dr. Marko said that he had many long years ahead of him.

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PREVIEW FOR NEXT STORY

(because this chapter turned out shorter than I thought it was going to be I decided to do a preview of the next story)

Mischa couldn't believe what she going to do. Her parents really had their hearts set on going to medical school. She had been really into the idea until she had done the campus tour.

It just didn't seem like the life for her. All of the kids were stuck up and from well to do families. When she got home from the tour she hadn't told her parents she had changed her minds. She didn't want to disappoint them.

She had been so lost when she got the phone call from New York. Normally she would never have accepted a date from him but she needed someone to talk to. The two of them had gotten together for lunch and he had said over and over again he was sorry for what he had done.

Even though Mischa was still very angry at him for what he had done to her she couldn't help that she was still in love with him. Something about him had always attracted her.

New York was in a band called 'Trouble'. He was the drummer. One of the reasons he had called her was because they needed a lead singer. Even though not many people knew it Mischa had a voice like an angel.

After a couple of secret meetings behind her parent's back Mischa had found a way out of her problem. She would tell them was going to medical school but in secret she would go with New York and play in his band. By the time her parents got wind of what was happening they would famous. There was no way her parents could be mad at her then.

New York was so charming. By the time he was done talking to her she had forgiven him and agreed to go along with his plan.


End file.
